Back in May I received a call from my oldest daughter that she was pregnant. It was not a call I ever really anticipated receiving from her and amid her tears of joy and fear and anticipation she allowed me to be part of that day along with many others throughout her pregnancy, including all her ultra-sounds and many of her visits. Then last week, I was given the privilege of being with her while she labored valiantly and with honor. After 18 hours, she had a c-section with her husband by her side bringing into this world and all our lives, a beautiful, 8lb 2oz baby boy.

Within minutes of his delivery, she encouraged her husband to bring the baby into the recovery room and share him with me and my heart is forever changed. As their sweet baby was handed to me I was overwhelmed by their generosity of sharing him in those first few moments of his life and it has created a memory and a bond that can never be forgotten.

That was a week ago now and as I reflect back on that day, those moments, the memories, I am grateful again for this time away from work, living minimally and listening to my soul. Did I mention that he was born at 11:57pm? For those of you who have had a baby you know that that means they didn’t get out of recovery and into their room until well after 3am. Lets just say, it was a late night all around. And while I was grateful to hit the pillow that night (morning) I was keenly aware of the things I was not worried about.

I wasn’t worried about calling into work 4 hours later to let them know I’d need another day off. I was aware that not once during that precious time while my daughter was in labor did my phone go off with questions that would have pulled my attention from her. I was reminded that I wasn’t worried about any meetings I was missing, any places I needed to be or any things that were happening that I should have been overseeing. I had spent an entire 24 hours, totally focused on what was important. What an amazing and wonderful gift. To be able to be fully present as another human came into this world. This was a bonus from our decisions that I had not anticipated.

Joshua Becker says in his blog, Becoming Minimalist, “Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value by removing everything that distracts us from it.” I would say that my day last week was the pinnacle of those choices in our life thus far and enabled us to have time and space to be present for the things we most value.

I am happy to say that our sweet lil’ man is doing great. Eating and sleeping, with a calmness about him that I know was created by parents who intentionally grew him in an environment that promoted peace. Mama is doing well too. Her commitment to the things that she values, all through her pregnancy, which included clean eating, daily yoga right up to baby’s delivery and a home filled with a calm, peaceful love are already being seen in their son. His sweet demeanor and calm spirit are traits we see clearly. He is a testament to the intentional promotion of things most valued.

As for me, his Nana, I just continue to feel blessed. This has been a wonderful week. I have been free to be available as needed to my daughter and her new family, without guilt or worry. I’ve not missed a minute of it. It’s one of those experiences I had no idea would alter my understanding of grand-parenting and positively rock my world to the extent it has. Who knew meetings could be so sweet?

Man, I love this life!


Each morning since this new life adventure I am on started, I have watched the sun rise. I typically find myself sitting sideways on the couch, two pillows propped behind my back against the arm, blanket over my legs and hot coffee held between cool fingers…sitting in awe of something that has occurred every day since the beginning of time. As the colors change from cool yellow to bright orange tucked into long strips of morning clouds and then into the day, I never cease to be amazed. Truly amazed.

For many years my commute involved the sunrise. Best case scenario it meant it would be a warm day but one I would experience from behind glass windows on the third floor. Worst case scenario it meant it was low in the sky as drivers tried to traverse their daily drive without crashing into another car or truck going 70 miles an hour while weaving in between those impeding their drive. While I’ve always loved the sun, those mornings with the visor low and my sun glasses on in 30 degree temperatures made me less then appreciative of its bright, life giving light. Even on the days when I thought it was beautiful that thought rarely had time to continue on to appreciation as thoughts of the upcoming day quickly took over, pulling my attention from the wonder that was there for my enjoyment.

I’ve found a few of those things since being home. I had forgotten the pleasure of a long hot shower without time restrictions and music up loud, the joy of working out at 2pm instead of 5am and the middle of the day phone call with someone I love just to say hello and catch up. Yes, all of these things can be done at other times of the day to help with efficiency and to accommodate work hours and I do understand that is how life needs to work for most of us most of the time, but these small changes to my blossoming routine are bringing a deep, heartfelt joy that I had not anticipated.

One of the joys that has been rekindled in the last 25 days is working out, and in whole new ways. We used to go to the gym, daily, at 4:30am. We’d spend an hour or so there, rush home to start the morning and head to work. When I say I used to, I mean 7 years ago I used to. Fitness was one of the things that got swallowed up in my pursuit of the corporate dream. I was too tired to get up early and to exhausted in the evenings to add it to my hectic day. I watched my fitness level and my weight slip, trying to get a work out in on the weekends or in 20 minutes somewhere here or there, always to be disappointed in the outcome or what I could no longer do. Knowing I was losing all the progress I had made years ago, losing 60 pounds and being more fit then I had ever been, only added to my stress and anxiety and confirmed the voice in my head that here was yet another area of my life I was failing at.

Part of my journey the past few years has been about my health. Or rather the decline of my health. And while I am not a physician and I’m not making recommendations by any means, I think my path is worth sharing in hopes it might help someone else see how stress can manifest itself physically. When I got my first entry level corporate management position I weighed about 135, worked out daily, had great eating habits and I was not on any medications. As I climbed the ladder, increasing my responsibilities, my salary, the stress and the hours I worked, those things began to take a hit. Small, little changes at first. One workout missed due to a 7am meeting. Two workouts missed for another meeting. Medication to help with ‘hormones’ because my stress level was increasing and my sleep was interrupted nightly by an overactive mind. Two years ago, after lots of tests and doctor visits I was diagnosed with an unspecified auto-immune disease and three more medications were added to the daily regime along with my cortisol being so low it was almost undetectable. Then six months ago, an ulcer with three more meds and anxiety with another med to counter its affects and help me sleep. By the end of every day I had taken 9-10 pills.

9-10 pills A DAY! I am 51 years old. At lunch with a physician friend of mine this week, she gasped when I told her …”that is what you expect from a 90 year old” …. I know. I knew. BIG sigh. It was one of the many flags that told me things had to change. More than a flag really….more like fireworks exploding overhead that something had to change with bombs and lights and thumping music. YOU’RE KILLING YOURSELF! We all know that, don’t we? That stress is bad for us. We’ve read article after article about de-stressing, meditating, being present. But I didn’t see a clear way out until I did.

With that knowledge, one of the things I committed to myself and my family when we made the decision for me to take this time off was that I would make my health a priority. I had visions of hitting the gym first thing in the morning again like I used to, lifting weights until I was too sore to sit for three days, doing hours of cardio weekly and pretty much returning to my 40 year old self, preferably within 60 days.. But what I have found has been a sweet, sweet path leading to something completely different.

While I’ve tried Yoga a few times in the past, my daughter, who is 41 weeks pregnant today and still practicing every day, has made Yoga part of her life for years and last year had the opportunity to go to Bali for a retreat. I have first hand seen the changes in her spirit and in her body and the benefits it has added to her pregnancy. So I started there. I asked if I could practice with her a couple mornings. I figured hey, she’s 8 months pregnant, I should be able to keep up with her, right? She graciously chose 30 minute practices, provided the mat and blocks and encouragement. And at the end of each time together, I found myself tearfully aware that I had just done something really good for my body and my soul. Our first practice together was on Christmas day and I am proud to say I’ve not missed a day since. I’m improving daily. I am surprisingly sore many mornings from the day before’s practice but I look forward to it like I’ve rarely anticipated exercise before. It’s been a wonderful addition to the healing of my body and heart.

And even as I contemplate writing this next sentence I am asking myself who I am, but,… I’ve started running. While I find myself wanting to say all the parts of it I’m not good at or talk about the distance, I am going instead to say I am proud of me. It was one of those things I had said I could never do. I was told in fourth grade that I was a ridiculous runner because I smiled too much. I have always believed I am not athletic. I was afraid of looking foolish, I thought I was too old, I have a bad hip, blah, blah blah….but I started by walking up to an hour a day then, a couple weeks ago I thought, fear is not going to keep me from trying this…and I ran. And damn, my body can do it! And it feels really good. I’ve successfully added it to my exercise routine and look forward to that feeling when you first step into stride.

While I am proud of these parts of my adventure so far, it’s not why I feel compelled to write today’s blog. The part I really want to share is that due to these changes in my fitness and leaving the environment that was not healthy for me, I am off all medications. All 10 of them. The symptoms of the auto-immune are completely gone. Any discomfort I am feeling is that of well used muscles after a workout. I quit the anxiety meds when I gave my notice and the ulcer has healed. I am not a doctor, and I’m not recommending anyone just stop taking prescribed medications, but for me, this is the best outcome to date. Its been just 7 weeks. That is an amazing and fast physical turn around. One I had not believed could happen so quickly, if ever. But our bodies rebel against anxiety and stress and when I didn’t listen for so long, it just kept getting sicker and sicker. We are meant to live healthy, happy lives.

Each morning while I sit and watch the sun rise, coffee in hand, I am acutely aware of what is missing in my life. For me, that is a fistful of meds, anxiety about my upcoming day and a belief that no matter how hard I keep trying, I am failing.

I feel great. I still cry most days so grateful for this gift of time and the blessings of family support, the ability to get healthy, the examples of how to do it and the encouragement to do so. I would trade it again for the paycheck and the title.

For now, I’ll enjoy the rest of this morning, quietly finishing a second cup, then retire to my space to enjoy getting healthy, my way, while I wait patiently for our next grandson.

Thanks for reading. I want to continue to share my journey in hopes that it encourages someone to reconsider what ‘arriving’ looks like for them and to remind myself again and again that my health, my life and my happiness are worth more than any amount of zero’s.

Until next time,


the Hustle

Today marks two weeks since I left my corporate job and all that came with it. Hours, salary, people, identity, title and stress. I’m proud of how I have spent these two weeks, taking my daughter to her doctor’s appointments for a grandson that is due any minute, studying, meditating, working out and incorporating Yoga into my daily routine. I’ve made a new meal every night and I’m enjoying the planning and prep like I used to.

Before I quit I made a list of things I’d like to explore while I have this year off and I continue to add to it as new things either come to mind or I see something and wonder about it. Some of those include more time to paint, make cards, send cards, learn macrame, work out daily and spend time in a new devotional. What was not on my list is the time I’ve had with my daughter as she puts the final touches on the nursery for her upcoming son. We spent one day this week touching up the crib and creating a wall in his room with a beautiful saying about changing his world, that my daughter hand wrote, on the wall!! Its so personal and beautiful and I feel blessed to have been part.

I’ve been invited to her appointments and yesterday got to see and feel his sweet little foot while hearing his heartbeat. All of these wonderful adventures were not things that I had planned. They were spontaneous and delightful as they played themselves out in the most perfect ways.

I had lunch with a friend who shared some very enlightened thoughts on acceptance and expectations. I have thought on our conversation and her words so many times since we met and know that they are a launching spot for growth this year. I look forward to seeing where they lead and who I become based on the time we spend together.

And I’ve cried every day.

For over a year I’ve been reading about and trying to practice being present. I’ve been meditating when I could find time and spending time trying to be silent all in the hopes it would ‘help’ and this week, so much of that study has started to show itself as benefit. I’ve had quiet moments of clarity that I have not before experienced in my life, and overwhelming gratitude. Hence the crying.

I can’t believe this is my life. Every moment choosing how to spend my time and my energy. Where to focus thought and the ability to spend time doing things I know are helping make me healthy. Not once have I felt rushed or pushed or had anxiety about how to get it all done and yet at the end of each day I still have things I look forward to doing tomorrow, things I didn’t get to today. I make a list every day of things I’d like to accomplish, marking them off as I go and forwarding any undone to the next day, and my soul is at peace.

I’ve had two occasions this week to be in a craft store (don’t worry MP!) and each time I was drawn to the planners. I like planners. I like tablets and binder and notebooks. Truth be told, I just really love any kind of paper. As I perused each book, looking for the details that made each of them different, I had the thought that maybe I ‘needed’ one. After all, I do have appointments to keep track of, things I am doing that are scheduled. I thought I could put my daily list in it and grocery needs and you know… have a planner. The last one I opened had each day scheduled by the half hour. A slot every thirty minutes. I immediately said, out loud, “I do not want to be that scheduled”. It actually gave me angst to think about having things so rigid. My daughter later commented that she was surprised by the comment because she has always known me to be a planner. Someone who found value in being busy because busy meant successful.

She was right. As I’m contemplating why I burned out of corporate America, part of it was my need to be seen as and to be busy. After all, busy is the outward way we know we are progressing and accomplishing, right? It was the way I knew I was climbing, growing, becoming ….something. But sadly, I believe that was part of what makes many of us slowly die inside. We give up the things that fill our time, the things that help us stay healthy and alive, for the busyness of meetings and demands that are pitched as urgent or vital. It happens slowly. First I gave up just one work out a week. Then I remember having the conversation with MP about what the minimum amount of workouts I’d need to do to maintain where I was at that point would be. It happened slowly but I traded, little by little, all the things that made me alive and happy for the things that kept me busy. The hustle was addicting and I was a junkie in the darkest sense of the word.

Hustle, Rest, Repeat
Hustle Hard
Hustle beats talent when talent doesn’t Hustle
Some days I’m humble, some days I struggle, but I always Hustle

Its cool to be a hustler! Even cooler to be labeled or seen as a hustler. I’m not saying that working hard is bad by any means, and I know that hustling is a catchphrase at the moment that encompasses pouring yourself into your dreams and I’m all for that. I also believe its worth considering the cost of the hustle with a measurement larger then the corporate ladder and to not buy into the idea that hustle for hustling sake is healthy for everyone.

This is the first of a few things I’m realizing just two weeks into my journey. For me, the manic hustle, the busy for busyness sake was my enemy. There is always going to be more, always going to be another meeting, another crisis, another need and I let those things wiggle their way into first place, before my health, my fitness and my family. Its easy to see from this side looking back the quiet progression and how I got caught up in believing I was just doing what needed to be done.

As I contemplate that progression and the opportunity to re-evaluate things, I hope to continue to cry every day. Tears of gratitude. Tears of becoming.

I’m going to live my life without a day planner for a while. I’m going to live outside my norm of filling ever minute and consciously continue to minimize in my life. I’m learning about me and I don’t need time slots all filled in to do that. I’m choosing who I want to be and I’m getting ready to meet the newest member of this amazing family. While my days are full, I am far from busy. Each thing I do is a choice and I am enjoying every thirty minutes of it !

This is my year of Discovery and I am more excited every day as I experience new things about myself, my life, my family and my world. My path to and with minimalism is taking me down this very unique road and for that my heart is overflowing with gratitude.
Thanks for coming along with me on the journey.

Until next time…


The Leaving

I gave my notice through email because I had been waiting for a call back for days
So…I sent my resignation letter through email and didn’t like doing it that way one bit
But it was time.

Three days later, with no acknowledgment of having received it, I sent it again asking if it had been received
(Looking back, I should have sent it with a return receipt, I know)
The next day I got the following email with its one word answer


And then they went silent for the next two weeks
No emails
No exit strategy discussions
No questions
Just silence from their corporate office half way across the US

And….I was confirmed
This is the company that I couldn’t quite figure out for the six months I was there
Why don’t people answer my questions or emails?
Why are all the processes set up as if to make things more difficult then they need to be?

The job turned out to be totally different then what they told me when I took it
But it was exactly what I needed to make the change

And so…. I left corporate America
I think for good

I plan to take a year off
Really think about what I’d like to do
No more management
No more trying to tell people who have an MD or a PHD behind their name what to do

And here is the blessing and really what made this choice even optional….
We’ve been preparing for this for months
Years really
And didn’t even know it
Well, not specifically anyway

We became debt free earlier this year and since then we have been saving 90% of my paycheck and donating the other 10%
So we already know how to live on the Cowboys salary

We downsized our living space and our ‘things’ and started living a minimalistic lifestyle almost a year ago
There will not be big adjustments to make there either

I don’t know a lot of people my age, 51, who get an opportunity like this
I feel so blessed and excited and hopeful

Not everyday has been blissful while making this decision
One day I was so overcome by fear as my inner voice started to wonder what the hell I was doing…that I had to pull my car over

“If there is a recession, you’ll never work again”
“You’re too old, you’ll never be hired again”
“You’re going to ruin all your retirement plans”
“All you know is the medical field, you’ll never get into something else”
“You’re so selfish, broken, unable ……..”

I realized it was fear talking to me
None of those things were real, none of those things were true
And once I acknowledged that fear, and where it was coming from, I found a beautiful peace wash over me
A feeling I’ve gone back to whenever I start to feel anxious since then

And, so I jumped.
I left the job one week ago
Its was really hard to not be able to pass off the tasks in a professional way
To at least talk someone through where different projects are at or things to be watchful for
Actually, talk to anyone at all
I did not do the transition like I’d have liked to
But that wasn’t my choice
I wish them well

This week I have started a list of things I want to do with this time
I want to look back at it and know I shook this gift for all it was worth
I want to get fit and healthy again, read daily, mediate, worship, incorporate yoga into my weekly workouts, send notes weekly to those I love, journal, walk, swim, create
I have so many plans
and I’m so excited for this adventure.

One last note….
I know there is something I can’t even imagine coming
I’ve felt it for a while now and for the first time in my life I’m totally ok waiting to see what that is….
I’m not looking yet
I’m not trying to figure out what it might be or how it will work
I am not going to create it
I’m just going to work on me and wait to see what God has waiting for me
Because…its going to be great!

I plan to write more about leaving Corporate America too, but for now….I can hardly wait for this next Grand Adventure!

And…(drum roll please) ….

Minimalism is taking on a new form in my life very soon
I’ve talked about it for a while now
Thought about it for even longer
Read articles about those who’ve made adjustments like this
All to minimize their lives and lifestyles

We sold our home a few months ago
Our big house
Downsized to half the square footage
Got rid of SO much stuff
And decorated the new place very minimally

We’ve gotten debt free
paying off all our bills and living small
We’ve either saved or donated 100% of my income for months
and really scrutinized where we spend our other money

I didn’t know it when we started this journey
but its all been leading to this moment
Or rather the one that will happen just 8 days from now

After years of living each day on the bubble of negative anticipation
Wondering how every day will be and how people will act
Being responsible for those actions whether I agreed with them or not
And rarely being able to leave those issues where they belonged
We’re about to make a change

A big change
A change longed for
And one I approach with great and positive excitement

I am leaving Corporate America
I’m leaving my full time, six figure, 50+ hours a week job

And my plan, you ask?
well, let me see…
I plan to read, sleep, exercise, practice yoga, paint, journal, cook, get healthy, write and participate in anything that looks fun along the way. I’ve started a list of all the things I want to do and spending time with the grand babies and under the beautiful palm trees in Arizona tops it.
For now, the plan is to take a year off, maybe more
We’ll see
And currently, I think if or when I do ‘go back to work’ I’d like to stay out of this field… forever

I have all my reasons
And maybe I’ll share some of them at some point
But now, I’m basking in the knowledge that I have just hours left in this life of medical and corporate management

So, join me on my journey! I look forward to your thoughts along the way. I’d love to hear from those of you who have made a similar choice. I bet I learn a lot of things I hadn’t even thought about.
I can hardly wait for this grand adventure to begin.

Here I go!



This is a different post than I usually write on this blog. It is about my journey through the last few years in a toxic corporate job, my battle with depression and my belief that amazing things are coming.

Have you ever been scuba diving? If so then you know that when you are submerged deep in the water you don’t really realize it. You know you’re swimming and you might be aware you are underwater, but you can’t really tell if you’re 5 feet under or 50 feet deep.

I feel like this has been my life for the past few years. I knew I was under water, and I would have told you I was just a little under, but what I hadn’t realized is that I was in deep. Way, way under.

I didn’t really know I wasn’t breathing at all. I was holding my breath to see if I could survive another day, thinking that everyone in corporate America ‘worked’ like that. I believed that it was acceptable to live in a toxic environment because it was a career and work is never all that fun. I was just living for Friday at 4pm and slipping down past whatever progress had been made over the weekend on Sunday at 9pm, dreading the next morning. People around me were worried. I was getting physically sicker by the month. But, I kept telling myself that this was life in the fast lane. This was what was required to get the paycheck and have the title.

But I was cracking. Or maybe I cracked. I was losing myself and those who loved me.

Until earlier this summer, when I left my ‘big, corporate job’ and we went away for 16 days. I cried almost every day we were gone. I was broken and sad and wondering how I let myself be sad and broken for so long. Wondering who I was now that I didn’t have the corporate title.

We downsized our home in order to live the dream we had been dreaming. I took a job with a smaller, more personal company and we started living our weekends, instead of just trying to make them last longer.

That was almost 6 months ago. To be honest, at first I thought I had made a terrible mistake. I thought maybe this new job was just like that last one. Or maybe the benefits would have been worth staying for. When I realized that wasn’t the case I started to wonder if I was broken. Maybe I didn’t know how to be a good employee or manager. I questioned myself, my decisions and my wants.

But something else started to happen too, slowly. I started to not dread Mondays. I got control of my anxiety with some help from my physician and from a counselor. I started to look again for the things I really enjoyed and I made plans to incorporate more of those things into my life.

And, I got brave. Braver then I think I have ever been before and more brave then I thought I could be. I went to my new employer (only 5 months in) and I told them what I wanted. It was completely different then the job I had been hired for. But I pitched it. I told them exactly how I wanted my work life to look.

And they said yes!

Not just yes, but a resounding yes. I was initially afraid to even ask, but once I did something great started to happen. I started bobbing above the water I hadn’t even realized I was under. Just a couple bobs at first but as the days went by I spent more and more time breathing in the sunshine that floating on top the water gave me access to. Day after day I felt myself coming up and out of the darkness. I felt myself smiling. Really smiling and laughing and enjoying everything.

Its been a journey. Not always an easy or fun one, especially for those closest to me. They saw me losing myself and could do very little to help. I knew I was breaking me, but I didn’t have the courage to change it.

I’m not going to tell you I’m totally fine quite yet. Years of living in harsh environments takes time to heal from. I talk to my counselor a few times a month and on occasion I find myself worried if this will last, but I wake up most mornings and I am amazed at the sunrise. I stop each evening on my walk into our condo and watch as the moon rises in the sky and the sun casts brilliant orange shadows over the western mountains. I breathe. Deeply. I praise because I’m thankful and I incorporate gratitude into my daily routine. I am deeply grateful for those who stood by me. Who loved me. Whose life this experience altered too.

I’m glad to know you can have a career and be happy. I’m happy to know that Sundays can be days that are filled with fun things and I can go to bed without dread.

I share my story in hopes that maybe someone else will read this and know they too can be happy. I hope that person doesn’t stay in a place that makes them less. I hope that you will never be in a place that makes you stop breathing.

Look for the sun. Never let the darkness hold you under. And if you find yourself in that place, reach for the surface with everything that is left in you. Because the sun is shining. There is warm air waiting for you to breathe deeply into your soul. Be braver then you ever thought you could be. Because, you are worth the effort.


12.20.19 Update : The new job mentioned above turned out to be much different then planned and while I agree with this writing and hope it helps someone else understand that a job can be good and happy and freeing, this job did not turn out to be that for me. I still think this is worth keeping posted.

What to do with Christmas

Christmas is one of the holidays that can create some apprehension about minimalism. I was listening to some podcasts recently and one perspective was to make sure you tell all of your family about your decision to be a minimalist and give them a list of things they could get you, and your kids if you have them, for gifts. The second idea was to just quietly live your life, accept any gifts that are given and make decisions maybe a few weeks or months down the road as they come up about what things you keep like you would any other day with items in your home.

I thought about these two options off and on for a few days and found that neither of them sat well with me. I don’t want to tell people what to get me for Christmas. That feels wrong on a number of levels. I also, don’t want people to waste money on things that may not be kept for very long or buy gifts just because they feel like they should.

I believe there is a happy medium between these two options and its the one our family has been doing for years, not under the umbrella of minimalism, but as a way to really spend quality time together.

Our adult children and their spouses and myself and MP share an outing every year as our Christmas gift to each other. We come together and bring ideas of things we can DO together instead of buy each other. One year we rented a beautiful mountain ‘cabin’ (that slept 15) and spent a weekend in a resort town. Another time we went to a hockey game and once we went on a reindeer drawn sleigh ride and dinner.

One of the things I love about these gifts is that I still remember them. Unlike the sweatshirt or socks I may have received and not ever worn, these gifts create long lasting memories and build on our love for each other. I always remember the laughter, the food, the games and the quiet breakfasts.

We usually do the event in January or February so we have something to look forward to and to lighten the load for other engagements around the holidays. It makes the perfect ‘get-together’ again when winter is really starting to set in.

The other great thing about this gift is I don’t have to store it. I don’t have to find a place for it. I don’t have to wonder how long to keep it. I don’t have to feel bad if I didn’t like it or never wear it. Its a win-win all the way around!

MP and I still buy gifts for the ‘babies’ as I like to call them and a few for each other. One of the grand kids is 7 and the other 2 1/2 but they are still ‘the’ babies. With another on the way this winter I’m sure our Christmases are about to be even more fun filled and I can imagine that as the kids grow, we will incorporate them into our outings as well.

What are your Christmas traditions and how does a minimalist lifestyle play into those events?

And with that….here comes Fall, and Thanksgiving, my very favorite holiday!


My “I Want” Exercise

I was listening to a podcast earlier this week and the presenter asked the question, “What do you want?” In this context he was asking the listener to actually list out on paper things they wanted. I thought about it while I drove and decided to take the challenge, so this week I wrote out a list of things I ‘want’.

I started every sentence with the words “I want…” and just wrote until I felt like there wasn’t much else to say.

This was one of those experiments where I decided not to think too hard about what I was writing, to not judge myself, to write whatever I thought and to not edit along the way. Just write. Much like Julia Cameron’s suggestion when doing “Morning Pages ” from her book The Artists Way.

Julia asks people to hand write their thoughts first thing in the morning each day. She suggests at least three pages of free flowing, non-edited conscious stream of thought on a page. I look forward to the time when I can start most days with this journaling habit. For now, I used this technique for my “I want…” list.

At the end of my 4-5 minutes of typing, it was almost surreal to reread what I had typed. My list lacked things like a new car, or the latest Coach cross-body bag. It didn’t have a trip listed or new clothes. There were no household items or dreams of meeting someone specific.

Instead my list consisted of a lot of non-tangibles. Things like peace, time with my grand babies, quiet mornings and big holiday meals with my family topped my wants. As I read down through what I had just let myself write, I saw that the things I want most in life aren’t things at all. They have to do with heart and love and people. And about who I want to become.

This would not always have been the case. There was definitely a time in my life where my list would have looked much different. I am a recovering purse addict, so Coach bags used to be my want all the time! (At one point in time I had over 50 purses!) And I’m not saying I’ll never want or buy something just for fun again. But my list fleshed out the things that are most important to me.

In his blog, Becoming Minimalist, Joshua Becker writes “Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value by removing everything that distracts us from it.”

We have definitely minimized our life by downsizing, being intentional about purchases and how we spend our time and it was evident to me that my want list is full of the things I really do want most… people that I love, things that I enjoy doing and time focused on becoming the me I was destined to be.

It was a fun assignment to participate in. I would highly recommend it. Just remember, let yourself write whatever comes to mind. There are no wrong answers. Don’t edit and don’t judge yourself. Just let yourself be free to write.

Once you have your list, chase those things. Create the story of your life that highlights all the things you love most. That’s what I plan to do with my list. Chase and work for all the things that I want.

Everyone’s list is going to look different. That is a beautiful part of this exercise. Just like minimalism or any thing in life, each of us will have our own interpretation of how this will look. There is no right and there is no wrong. There is just you and what is important to you.

Try it and let me know what you learn about yourself. Until then, choose things that make you happy!


Pecked to Death…by a Duck

Do not let yourself be surrounded by people who will peck you to death like a duck. If you allow yourself to be around people and they show you who they are and you refuse to believe it, they will each time they enter into your space, take a little piece of your soul. By the end of your encounter with them you are less then who you were meant to be. -Maya Angelo

I used to find myself in these types of ‘relationships’. People in my life, that after spending any amount of time with them, always left me drained, sometimes angry and all too often frustrated at the time I had given to a relationship that somehow left me… less.

Sometimes those people were my closest friends, or a family member, making saying no to their invite of time together incredibly hard. And yet, each time I was with them, I came away with a little less of my soul.

I would find myself replaying the conversation, wondering if I had somehow fed into how I felt. Maybe I had helped create the storm. But as I have aged, and hopefully gotten a little wiser, I have begun to realize that there were some people in my life, that took much more from me then they ever gave back, sometimes at the cost of who I was meant to be.

No one else could be blamed for me feeling that way. There was no person “making” me feel those feelings. As Maya stated, they had shown me who they were over and over and yet I continued to give them space in my life and my heart.

Minimalism doesn’t just have to do with the clutter of stuff. It can be about things, people, time, energy and head space. And sometimes the hardest things to ‘downsize’ are the cluttered relationships we find ourselves in. We know they aren’t healthy for us. We know the person can’t be trusted so we spend our time with them guarding our words and our stories. We leave feeling diminished, sad and hurt, having hoped this time would be different. We have memories of how things used to be and a dream that person might return.

Evaluating all the aspects of your life can be challenging. Much more difficult then deciding to minimize your closet or your kitchen gadgets, minimizing time spent with a long time friend because they are not good for your soul, can take effort and can be heart wrenching. “Unfriending” a family member can create lasting ripples. Saying no to the invite for coffee can be sad and create anger in others.

So, here is what I have learned about minimalism as it pertains to the clutter in some relationships. The people I want to have in my life build me up. They hold my hand when I cry or when I’m scared or on a roller coaster ride! When I see their name come up on my cell, I smile as I answer and I feel blessed and loved when they choose to spend their precious time with me. I leave time with them feeling as if I have learned, grown and given equally back to the friendship I have received.

We all have limited hours. I want mine to be filled with the people and the things I love. Not things that just fill space or have little meaning. And I definitely don’t want things or people in my life who in the end, make me less that I was destined to be.

I am so grateful to have my best friend as my husband, grown children that I adore as adults, friends that make time for me on a rainy Saturday afternoon and family that has stood by me and made me feel more loved than I ever dreamed possible. These are those that at the end of the day, always feed my soul. Sadly, I have lost some people along the way. And while I sometimes remember the good times and wish things had been different, I want to be all I was intended to be. My whole soul intact, living my best life every day.

Let me know what you think about minimalism as it pertains to relationships or share a story of one that you enjoy and helps you be who you were destined to be.

Thanks for reading.



When the dust starts to settle the view becomes crystal clear. I’m not going to fib …the last few months have been a whirl wind.

A new job, a sold house, a move, downsizing and the wonder filled news of a new grand baby. Whew… that was quite a run.

The ironic part is, I don’t think its quite over. We’ll see, but for now things have settled a bit and it feels like it would be a good time to just sit back quietly for a minute and be grateful.

Gratitude. Taking a moment or many moments in a row to just reflect on life and all the things that have gone so well. From the deck of our new place, as the sun starts to peek over the foothills my heart fills with love and peace and gratitude for so many things.

We celebrated our wedding anniversary recently and I was reminded of how grateful I am that he is in my life and even more so that we are sharing this life together. All the cliche’s seem…well cliche’ but what a gift to be married to someone you respect, someone who challenges you and the one who will forever be the best friend. We laugh together and still talk for hours every week. We share idea’s and thoughts and this journey to who knows where! And, there is no one else on the planet I’d rather do that with.

I’m grateful for change and for the beautiful places I get to enjoy living. I never dreamed this would be my life. Just a girl from a very small town in Oregon, living a dream she didn’t even know she had. Oh the adventure we’re on.

I could list the things my heart is grateful for today and none of it would be a surprise:

Kids and their kids. I’m so proud of all of them and how hard they work and how well they love. Its a great blessing to like your adult children.

Hope for the future and a contentment that I have rarely known in my life. Being loved and loving. People in my life who pour in to me simply because they love me.

Sunrises and sunsets. Breakfast with new friends and lunch with old ones. Giggles of the young and deep sighs of contentment as those around me age. And the knowledge that this life is a grand adventure that I am blessed to be on.

Oh what a life. I am incredibly grateful.

What have you noticed lately that you’re grateful for? I look forward to hearing your gratitude’s.


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